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Turistas . . . if you're fluent in Portuguese, you know “Turistas” means . . . “tourists.” And, the movie Turistas is, as the Portuguese would say, a stupid-istas piece of crap-pistas!
Just as any classic horror movie begins, the characters in this movie appear to be fun-loving with no ill intentions and just happened to find themselves in a mess. A group (two of the characters played by Josh Duhamel and Melissa George) is vacationing in Brazil and are taking a bus tour. When the bus breaks down, the group makes some bad decisions. They venture away from the bus and end up partying with the wrong people that drug and kidnap them. The kidnappers are killing their prey and stealing organs to sell on the black market. The group struggles to get away and escape…at least the ones that don’t get killed.
Turistas has actually none of the elements of a good horror film – including the horror. Its lame storyline, bad dialogue, and poor acting are more typical of a “B” movie, and yet it doesn’t even offer the gratuitous nudity and gore that makes “B” movies popular! Other than some fantastic Brazilian scenery and a fairly imaginative underwater chase scene – which, unfortunately, you cannot really follow because it's underwater and in the dark – Turistas just doesn’t offer much worthwhile. Sure, the idea of being robbed of your organs is terrifying, but it's not a new idea and it's not done especially well in this. Turistas is actually what we would call “soft horror” - which is, of course, not really horror at all.
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On the Movie Night Traffic Light on a scale of GREEN meaning “Go – it’s a must see”, YELLOW meaning “Caution – it’s okay” and RED meaning “No - stop don’t do it."
We rate Turistas RED. Stop – don’t do it, this one is just stupid! |
